The Journey to Grace begins when you wake up one morning and realize that even though you begged God the night before to not make you wake up to another day, He did. It begins in the night when you realize that it has been months or years since you were able to sleep without fear, without nightmares, without scenes of the most painful periods of your life playing in your mind like an old movie. The Journey begins when you realize that you’ve died more than you’ve ever really lived.
For someone who has been sexually abused or experienced the devastation of abortion these are just some of the symptoms that play out in our minds on a daily basis. What would be a normal fear or bad dream to most people is magnified in intensity and depth for those of us who have been wounded by abortion or sexual abuse. Often the Journey begins when we’ve finally grown so weary of trying to keep it all buried, and pushed down within our heart. When the realization is finally clear that real living involves far more than just waking up and breathing and a desire to really live begins to creep in, the journey can begin.
Sadly, far too often, the men and women who are suffering after abortion or sexual abuse find their life has spiraled out of control and into many forms of addiction. Drug or alcohol abuse, pornography addiction, or sexual addiction are not uncommon. The desire to numb ourselves from the pain takes many different forms but for those of us who need more than a denial and a refusal to face the pain, other addictions are easily found.
Anger, withdrawal and difficulty with relationships all walk hand in hand with the post-abortive or sexually abused. The anger and the rage infect every area of life whether it’s relationships with family members, close friends or a cashier at the store. The anger and the rage that simmers within is impossible to contain for long and always ends up exploding and wounding anyone within reach. The anger and the fear of letting anyone get close enough to see the truth of what is inside of us leads to withdrawal in relationships. Although there may be a deep desire for the intimacy found in our relationships, the lack of trust and constant anticipation of betrayal sabotage any opportunities for truly close relationship. The anger and the withdrawal make any relationship difficult to maintain and since there is such an abundance of energy spent on trying to keep the anger in check and trying to conceal the deeper wounds, there just isn’t enough energy to put into working on these relationships.
Innocence, purity, trust, dignity, self respect these are all things lost at an early age in the life of the person who has been sexually abused. These are also some of the things lost in the life of the person who has experienced the pain of abortion. These things are often replaced by shame, guilt, fear and anger. Jesus said in John 10:10
the thief comes ONLY to steal, kill and destroy
This is evidenced by the lack of quality in the life of someone who has experienced abortion or sexual abuse. The hope lies in the rest of that statement that Jesus made – “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full”. Jesus is the one who has come to heal these wounds and set us free.
This is where the Journey begins. It begins when you see that God never intended for you to go through this life just waking up and breathing, existing with no real hope or purpose. The Journey begins when you are willing to reach out for the hope of that full life that Jesus promised.
It begins here, today.
Are you ready?
